I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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