Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
