Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
