i don't like sucking hair
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
