i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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