Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
