I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
