just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
