So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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