ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
