I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
