I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
