I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
