Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
