Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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