Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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