Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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