You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
