i can't believe i had my finger in that
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
