hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
