You're a womanizer and a bitch.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
