some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
