How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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