she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
sex in a hospital.. check
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
