Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
