Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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