im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I forgot how hot balto sounded
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
They took my balls.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
