dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
