No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
