he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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