my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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