STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
