Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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