He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
