I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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