it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
