Farmville is her only friend.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm at about main and main street
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize