Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
