it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
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