Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
