they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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