Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
