i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
