how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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