I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
soo... how was my night?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize