Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
