If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
