Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
false alarm. still invincible.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We got so high we made milksteak
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
