I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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