i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
