Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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