I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
