do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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