this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
