im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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