so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Randomize
