We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
