operation harelip BJ is a go
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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