I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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