Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
