Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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