He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
