Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Your cock deserves a montage
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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