In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
